Getting healthy, staying me

Today I posted a progress picture of my health and fitness journey, and I received so many positive responses, comments, questions, etc, it was overwhelming — in a fantastic way. A few people asked how I’ve been making my progress, if there’s a specific plan or program I’ve been following. The answer is, actually, no, I have not followed any specific program— which is part of my own plan that I’ve devised after years of trial and error with weight loss, fitness, diet shenanigans. Before diving in, I want to quickly define what I mean, personally and in the context of this post, by health and healthy: this means I am at both a weight and physical make up (shape, fat vs. muscle) in which I am not in danger of disease, I am not constantly aching or having pains, and I feel good and able to do activities like walking or dancing without immediately getting winded. [Anyone can feel free to message me directly for further clarification, but let it be known that I am not a doctor or health expert of any kind, even on TV, or Instagram.]

I know there’s plenty of content out there for this kind of thing, but I also know that I have struggled because I don’t see a lot of that content coming from people who share my physicality, limitations, fears and insecurities. [I know everyone has fears and insecurities, I mean to say that I have not found resonance from many of the people I’ve seen.]

January->February->April, 2020. I have literally never gotten so many likes on a post, it’s wild.

It feels like there are two (completely generalized) types of “health influencers”: 1. People already super fit and want to help others get there (possibly without having a deep understanding of how we have found ourselves to be unhealthy and out of shape.) 2. People who are body positive and focused on progress mostly for mental health, self-esteem, and personal body image. These groups are both mostly well meaning, helpful, and good resources — but they do not give me the whole of what I need. So, I guess, I’m somewhere in between those two? Or something else entirely. In any case, I want to share a bit of my story with you, and some of the advice, choices, and activities I have used to get where I am, and to keep me going.

I have had countless ups and downs throughout my teen and adult life with my body, my health, and my mental health as it pertains to my wellness. Since puberty, essentially, I have struggled with body confidence, healthy living, and all the like. My weight and my physical fitness have fluctuated immensely, and I have fallen on and off the wagon, so to speak, of living well alongside thinking positively about myself. None of this, I am sure, makes me unique (which is ok, btw). The farthest I fell began when my mom was diagnosed, and I reverted back to my old ways of eating (and drinking) all my feelings all the time. After about two and a half years — through her illness, and then mourning, I had gotten to my heaviest self — and, thusly, my lowest point of health. I felt terrible, physically, all the time. I was ready to start a new journey, but I was also almost halfway to 29, and I felt like I wanted to make this the last time I had to pull myself this far out of this particular pit. So, I did research, like I always had before, but I also completely changed my approach.

Here is the breakdown of where I started from, what I have been doing, and what advice I follow. I particularly note how this has changed during the pandemic as well, with the gym being closed.

My starting place:

— heaviest I have ever weighed, all gained through eating too much, and drinking lots of beer.

— multiple chronic joint pains/injuries, that usually flare up occasionally but were always bothering me

— a gym membership I had been wasting money on every month

Important note: I decided to not make a specific plan! As my sister has smartly pointed out to me, I have a tendency to be an all-or-nothing type of person. If I missed a day of a plan, or messed up or cheated one day, then I felt like a complete failure and would basically give up. So this time, no day-to-day plan! Instead, general guidelines for each aspect of wellness. Here they are:

1. Exercise: Exercise 3–5 times a week at least. Exercise means at least 15 minutes of focused time on a fairly strenuous physical activity, that makes you sweat and feel tired (and snacky) afterward. At-home edition: I use FitOn and Pop Sugar for workout videos, they have a wide variety, and they are both free! If, like me, you have a hard time with cardio because you need low impact workouts so as to not aggravate injuries, there is a lot out there. I have been finding pilates to be great for this.
2. Movement beyond exercise: Move around as much as possible separate from workouts. This can be done a number of ways: set a reminder of some kind to move 10 minutes of every hour, or find a chunk of free time, at least 30 minutes, to move. I literally just mean casual walking. Our bodies are like the boots from the song — they were made for walking. I basically don’t do cardio workouts, because without the elliptical, my ankle gets angry at me for running and jumping. So, I’ll do a 10–20 minute strength or toning video, and then go for a walk. At-home edition: I call people and chat while walking, or if no one is available or I don’t want to talk, I pick a fun playlist or a funny podcast. Rest days: On rest days, I walk for longer, about an hour.
3. Movement generally: Honestly, I have been walking a lot regardless, as a way to pass the time and be out of my apartment. I think this has been a major contributor to my progress, just moving for so much of the day, when I can. I am aware that I currently have the privilege of free time. Another way I do this, especially when I am on zoom all day, is have one-song dance parties throughout the day. Pick a true jam, and just go hard.
4. Food scheduling: I have been mostly doing intermittent fasting. There are a few ways to do this, and you are supposed to consult a healthcare professional before starting this. I do a modified version of the most popular method: I eat within an 8 hour window every day, which is usually 11–7. Sometimes it’s a little later, sometimes it’s a little earlier, sometimes it’s even a little longer. That’s ok! This also means I generally eat brunch, a snack, lunch, dinner, and dessert. So, basically, it’s also 5 small meals.
5. Diet: eat all the food groups, but change the ratios. [Note: I do not mean “diet” like a specific set of rules. I mean it in the original sense, of simply what food goes into your body.] I prioritize high-protein foods, and fruits/vegetables. I try to eat at least one serving of fruits/veggies per day, and strive for more. I build my meals off of protein and add carbs, so they fill me up and are also satisfying. My favorite proteins are nuts, beans, eggs, and fish.
6. On indulgence: Food is not a reward or measurement of your value. I have a big sweet tooth (as well as a love of savory, basically I love food), inherited through the generations of my family. Instead of not letting myself buy desserts at the grocery store, I buy things that pack a lot of flavor into a small amount, and I do not buy anything that I know I cannot exercise self control over. (If you’re wondering, the first item on that list is peanut butter cups). I tend toward dark chocolate. At-home addition: While the entire world has heightened anxiety, I have strayed into creative territory for sweets. I buy different kinds of fun, throwback sugar cereal to eat as a snack, or I order baked goods to support local businesses.
7. On calories and counting: This is the thing I’ve struggled with the most. If your goal is weight loss, which I hope is your goal because of an evaluation from a medical health professional whom you trust, then the idea is to balance caloric intake with output. On paper, without meeting me, a doctor would’ve told me I should lose 40 pounds and eat 1200 calories a day to get there. I don’t think that’s physically possible for me. (I would disappear! and be hangry!) Instead of counting my calories all the time, I find it’s best to exercise portion control and follow serving sizes/suggestions for foods instead. Yes, this does mean I count out 17 pretzels from the bag, and I use a tablespoon to measure out peanut butter for my apple dipping. This is much better for my mental health than calculating how much I’ve eaten all day.

Advice, tips, notes:

1. I slowly built up each aspect of these guidelines over time — not all at once! I started with exercise, then was able to focus on eating, and then it started to all come together into routine, instead of chore.
2. Drink lots and lots of water!! Every time I feel hungry, I first drink a glass of water, then reassess. A good amount of the time, we are thirsty but we think we’re hungry.
3. Take time off — rest days are crucial. A lot of my progress has been revealed right after a rest day, when my body has had time to recuperate.
4. Alternate target areas of the body — don’t just always do arm days and cardio days, change it up and work on different muscle groups. Also, don’t feel the need to have a pattern for muscle groups, unless you’re trying specifically to bulk up.
5. Listen to something fun that you like! Music, podcast, even a solid sitcom. I often turn down the volume of whatever video I’m watching, and blast music on top of it. [But make sure to listen for instructions if it’s a new activity.]
6. Enjoy yourself, and indulge yourself. ***I do not mean that certain foods should be treated as rewards*** I mean, eat what you like, and do it responsibly, paying attention to serving sizes and balancing food groups. I also mean: look in the mirror, and think nice things about yourself. At-home edition: dress up in fun outfits, even with nowhere to go.
7. In a similar vein, I am a snacker and an over eater. To make sure this doesn’t become unhealthy, I follow my guidelines for portions and such, but I also try to pick foods that will take a long time to eat. Or, I’ll make a meal or snack into an activity as well, or a bunch of foods to eat together. An example of what I mean is dipping something crunchy into something smooth (pretzels/carrots/apples/chips into hummus/guacamole/pb).
8. If you find yourself thinking about all of this too much, write it down. Sometimes I catch myself getting anxious about food, overanalyzing what I’m going to eat and when — so then I’ll plan out my meals for the next day, while also knowing I can decide to change them at any point.
9. Progress is slow for a reason: if you lose a lot of weight quickly, that is unhealthy, and it will most likely come back. (This is also known as crash dieting. I have done it and it stinks). I have also used different apps to calculate this, and have learned that somewhere around 0.6 pounds a week is completely doable and effective. Some weeks I lose nothing, other weeks I lose a pound and a half, but over time the math works out to about 2.5 pounds per month.
10. It’s not all about the weight, or even about it all. My body has changed so much, and I have not lost nearly as much weight as I feel like it looks like from my pictures. The physical transformation is much more noticeable, and rewarding.

Last, and most certainly not least, is to create a support system. That being said, a gigantic thank you to everyone who has listened to me, encouraged me, shared advice or answered questions, and helped me remember that I am beautiful.